A month after the opening of Cereal Killer, in a restrained attempt to avoid the Brick Lane length queues of diehard fruit loops, it was time to make the inevitable trip for one of their crunchy cocktails.
There’s been a lot hating on Cereal Killer as of late, many arguing it is ludicrous to pay 3 quid for a bowl of cereal; that these middle class wankers, to quote directly from their Facebook page reviews, have taken gentrification to a suffocating new level. Have these people never paid upwards of 3 quid for a coffee, never marvelled at cost price this actually amounts to and never considered the money they are contributing to tax dodging multinationals purely for the novelty of a branded take out cup with their name on? Run by 2 lads who’ve had the balls to follow their dream and poise as the Jedward of cafe culture, the novelty and originality of it makes it, in my opinion, much more worthwhile than getting a coffee to go.
I went for the Lion King cocktail of lion bar cereal and coco caramel Shreddies topped with Mars mix and served with a cute little bottle of caramel milk. It took several panicked scans of the walls shelved with pretty boxes to create endless combinations before I could order. I was overwhelmed, in a good way, and threw on a side order of Pop tarts to take my excitement to sugary new highs. Even the pop tarts section of the menu was 14 strong: we went for the confetti cupcake and hot fudge sundae flavours ( 2 for £2.50).
Slightly unnerved by eating from a glass cereal bowl, whilst giddy with the shovel of Mars mix which proved to be a wonderfully chewy contrast to the crunch we vowed to come back ASAP for another fix. There were minor flaws; I was thankful for my extra side of coconut milk (40p) as my caramel milk portion was stingy, and wasn’t the mars milkshake style indulgence I’d envisaged but simply milk with a dash of caramel syrup. I was also irritated by the cereal bowl shaped integrated table light which was so bright I had to cover it with my scarf. However, this did not detract from the Pokemon and Jurassic park cereal wall of nostalgia, and there were thoughful touches- various syrups just in case you needed any more sugar, and toast with a multitude of toppings for a full brekkie experience.
It was busy, and it was mid week at 7pm. These fellas must be raking it in- I’ve heard they’re already looking at another property in Camden. In the meantime I can’t wait to go back for a bowloccino with a Happy Hippo on top!